No one person experiences grief the same way. Yes, there a stages to grief which are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. These stages, for me, are cyclical and have never presented themselves in a specific or logical order. There are people who will tell you that they did not experience all stages, or in a specific order. These stages also have no set time, as one stage may last only a day or two or months. I have found my stages to cycle through, and when I feel when I have made it through a stage, I have had to learn it may return.
I was not sure if a stage had a label. Nonetheless, I have come to believe that feeling BLAH is its very own stage. Well less of a stage and more of a phase, a phase that seems to lay directly below the surface. My lack of motivation can be epic. I don’t want to shower, do laundry, or wash a dish. I don’t want to pick up the mail from the mailbox or follow through with a single task. I write my goals down, put sticky notes everywhere. Log to docs on my phone’s calendar, or even make my friends call me to check in with me. But when I have the “grief blah’s” I feel just plain LAZY.
But no, the grief blah’s IS NOT LAZINESS! It feels like laziness, but it is not. So what is the laziness you feel while you are in grief? Heartbreak is a loss creating an injury, both an emotional and spiritual wound from which we must gradually heal.
we heal a physical wound through rest, so why would we not expect to heal an emotional wound with rest. Now I am not saying I can just ignore every detail of life. And yes, I’m sitting here right now telling myself “I know I have to take a shower”. But I am done beating g myself up when not every single item on my list isn’t finished.
So if you are feeling the “blah’s today, or any day, recognize where these feelings are coming from. Pick 1 or 2 things from your list to finish, and celebrate yourself for getting those things accomplished!!!
I am attaching a great article. You need more details on allowing a little bit of rest. This is important while you are grieving!
Widow 101 